Update #8

This is one of my all-time favorite pictures of this cute boy. He is getting better and better at looking AT the phone when i take pictures. Not always, but these past few weeks we see him getting better at this. 

Just a Thursday morning donut stop before speech! :) I'm a sucker for trying to create fun experiences that my boys enjoy. Food is the way to their hearts, right? 

Matt insisted on buying the boys a t-ball set. We have had many fun family nights playing with this already and it is fun watching both boys attempt this! So great for hand/eye coordination! 

Kade is SO much fun right now. So so so so much fun and such a joy to my heart. I love seeing his imagination exploding! He takes cars are drives them all around the house and plays so well with his Little People's. I can't wait for Blake to be at this level and watch these two boys play together! And I have faith it will come! :) 

Blake past 2 goals in speech: Girls vs. Boys and answering Yes/No questions. I am SO proud of him. He got to pick out this apple juice for doing such a good job. Even though I doubt he understood why he got a treat, I still choose to celebrate these milestones. 

I was talking with Ms. Katie this week about Blake's play and how he copies everyone in terms of play and speech. I told him how I had remembered that being a sign of autism and asked her her opinion on this. She said based on Blake's speech level, she guessed that Blake's play was copying and functional and very cause and effect (balls coming in and out, etc.). She nailed it! She said if Blake was showing other signs of autism which she just does not see that she said it could be a sign. But she believes it will come more with better language. Again, SO encouraging to hear from her.

The past months have been pretty horrible to say the least. Emotionally I break down almost daily into tears once the boys are in bed, and sometimes in a bathroom with the door closed during the day. Thankfully though I feel I have hit a turning point. I talked to someone who reminded me of a verse in Psalm 46 that says, "Cease striving and know that I am God." So much of my heartache stems from fear and of me trying so hard to "fix" him. Steph gave me an idea to write down all his positives during the day and that has helped a ton. At night when I am most apt to my sadness, I have verses written out to read and the day's list of all Blake's progress.

Let me share a couple:

-"I like your pink toes!" - referring to my painted toe nails. His commenting gets better and better!

-"I'm riding a horse and I'm pretending its a carousel." -Blake was moving up and down like the motions of a carousel. All of his "imagination" comes from his experiences.

-He has learned to take off his shirt, put on his shoes (two kinds), shorts, undies, and we are currently working on putting on a shirt. This is typical 3 year old development, but it is always encouraging to see him become more independent! 

-"I want to play doctor." -Blake took tools and was pretending to be a dentist and drilling my teeth. Future dentist? Perhaps! :) 

I'm thankful for God's grace and all the progress we are continually seeing with Blake. All credit goes to Him. He may use Ms. Katie and me, but the change comes from God! And the change in my heart comes from Him too. We are all so dependent on Him for all things... for every breath and for every victory. So glad I have a living hope.