January 2016

Happy New Year 2016! I can't believe another year is over and a new one has begun. Here is a little tidbit into our lives so far this year... for the few people who read! hahaha! :) 

For Nana's birthday this year, we rode the light rail to Downtown Phoenix to eat at a restaurant called The Counter. It is a place where you can customize your own burger and has the best fries in the world, hands down. It was POURING rain on this particular day and I am not a fan of public transportation. But overall, it was a neat experience. One Matt and I said we don't have to do for some time. Ha! But the memory stuck with Blake as he has repeatedly asked us, "Do you remember when we went on the train to The Counter?" 

Blake learned to button his jammie shirt. Well, at least this one button and I had to snap a picture of this milestone. We don't have many button things to work on, so I was pretty shocked that his first (to my knowledge) button came in the form of a tiny button! I was quite proud of this little guy!

After I gave the boys haircuts and they were bathed and in their comfy robes, they got an Oreo treat for sitting (mostly) still. Kade is NOT a fan of haircuts to say the least and this was the first time I tried cutting their hair without Daddy home to help! 

For Christmas this year, Blake got a new bike! He absolutely LOVES it and has enjoyed riding it around the house very often. We have taken some trips to the mail box and one trip around the block and plan on doing more hopefully soon. Kade has taken over Blake's old bike and is attempting to work with the pedals, but he has a ways to go. But he needs to be just like his brother and I am so enjoying these two together these days. They are INSEPARABLE. They now share a room which has ironically stopped Kade's nighttime crying sessions all together and he no longer wakes up crying for us in the night either for milk or whatever. It is almost as if he just needed his brother with him. Very sweet and VERY welcomed. He still wakes up from time to time and we have had to move him back to his room to not wake Blake, but overall it is a dramatic difference. Praise God! 

We started the formal evaluation process with the state to get Kade some speech therapy help this past Monday. As some of you may know, he is also very behind in his speech. He even has difficulty with initial sounds and most of his words are unintelligible. Although he passed the initial meeting with just the coordinator and just the 5 category evaluation of speech, motor skills, social, etc., we know there is more to it than a simple test like that. His score was skewed and I even explained that to the coordinator and she agreed since she saw it herself in person that he struggles. We are just waiting for a date to be scheduled with an occupational and speech therapist. Speech is divided into 3 categories. If you have followed our journey with Blake, you may remember this: receptive, expressive, and pragmatics. Blake struggled with receptive somewhat (understanding what we were saying), expressive a little, and a huge gap with pragmatics (which is social language and using it appropriately and knowing HOW and WHEN). Kade is our opposite child - his pragmatics and receptive are great, which show his score as not too bad. It shows he probably isn't in the same "category" as Blake, but his expressive is very behind. I am praising God that I am aware of so many developmental milestones, now. .

I wish I had known earlier on with Blake, and there were many nights I cried early on feeling like I failed him as a mom. I planned hours of tot school yet missed his issues entirely. It took a while to rest in God's sovereignty and that this was all apart of His plan. And also reading that showed that children who are SO mild and whose issues lie in the mild social/interest realms don't get "caught" early on. With that, a quick update on Blake. He is doing absolutely FANTASTIC. The difference that a year has made has been astronomical. Our family says he is not the same boy he was a year ago. He even got a glowing report from school that he is now playing WITH kids and not just NEXT to them. I cried some mommy tears for that one. All praise again goes to God who is giving Blake so much success very quickly. 

We are still dealing with reading social context with him and it is discouraging to see so many uneducated adults make comments to him and about him in public that make me cry when I get home. I am learning to see people are just that - uneducated and that they themselves have social skill issues. Accusations that  Blake is grumpy because he is frowning and declining the sticker at the cash register and he is responding with "I'm not grumpy" and they continue to tell him he is because he is frowning... *sigh*. He doesn't realize his response is portraying a grumpy one. We are working on that. And working on saying "No thank you" in a way that isn't being yelled. These are all things most people would read as just a grumpy, rude child. But for some kids who have issues with reading social context, it has nothing to do with that. And it is SO discouraging as a parent to try to protect them while teaching them at the same time the proper responses to give. Please pray for us in this. This is really our biggest issue and one that therapies don't touch at this point. But we work on it literally EVERY DAY. From having him repeat what he said in a different TONE to preparing him to SMILE when someone enters a room, and so much social unspoken language. But all things we will get through because God is faithful and has already grown this area in Blake dramatically. Most days these days I feel Blake will outgrow this one day - he just seems to be a year or so behind in development timeline. I seem to agree with his first physiologist that she believes its more PDD-NOS if it still existed. All the labels that I feel better capture my son have been removed and are all placed under Autism Spectrum Disorder. Which is so misunderstood and has such a negative connotation of. So no label for now! It won't change his prognosis in the slightest. And let me say... this boy is a JOY. 

 

And lastly, onto our next littlest boy! He is growing a way and quickly! Here is a pic from 14-18 weeks and I feel like I just get bigger by the day. This pregnancy is showing me more and more how every one will be different. Sleeping at night has never been so uncomfortable and I feel my scale is jumping up far too quickly! HA! Despite working out 4-6 days a week. This little boy is worth every discomfort though and I am looking forward to the stage where I fit into maternity clothes better! The awkward stage in between is just no fun! I felt him move at 16 weeks 6 days confidently and have ever since. It is the GREATEST feeling and the best part of pregnancy in my opinion. June can't come soon enough... 

Ross Baby #6!

It has been a while since I have posted anything on here, for a couple reasons. First being our busy schedule just getting the best of us. Our week is packed with school and therapies amongst other things! I am praising and thanking God that a routine has been established and we have all adjusted well! This was our October calendar- I have never been a physical calendar person until this year when it has become a necessity! 

Second, I haven't posted too much because there really isn't too much to post. There will never be a post regarding Blake in the near future where I can confidently say, "He has outgrown it all!" Unless God chooses to do that, which we pray for of course. But these past few months have given me a peace I have never experienced in this area before and one I am truly thankful for. What I can say is that Blake is continually to make more and more progress by the day! He is doing fantastic in his therapy sessions and in preschool. We are working on socially interacting appropriately, giving correct responses, reading emotions, planning, categorization, sequencing, and becoming more flexible in nature. It is just something that has become so routine. And these things no longer stand out to me as these impossible things to overcome because we already have seen GREAT progress. Blake is perfectly made to be exactly the way God wants him to be and he is such a sweetheart. He works so hard day in and day out to learn these things. God has given us much grace and His mercies are new every morning to tackle these things we have been given. I have a confidence that he will overcome these issues in the future because he already is so "mild" with whatever he has - and who knows exactly with the ever-changing diagnosis game and criteria. We don't need a label and we are very thankful label's don't define us as people. The only label I want following him around in his life is "Christian" and I pray for his heart everyday. We have seen him begin to understand a little more about God and Jesus and we are thankful for that. That is our ultimate goal for our sweet son! With the being said, please continue to pray for him and for our family. There are still days filled with many battles as we teach things so directly over and over and over again.... and then again. And again. Some days can be quite overwhelming, but God has been SO faithful this year with so much successes already. Praise be to God ALONE! 

The third reason for being behind is that I have been so tired from carrying our 6th baby, and Lord willing, our 3rd baby we will get to hold in this life time! We found out we were pregnant on October 4th while we were in Pinetop. It was very exciting and we were pleasantly surprised! My pregnancy tests I took at home got darker so much more quickly than with my miscarriages which was comforting and exciting to see. 

 This pregnancy has given my crazy food craving and aversions already. Pretty much all protein sounds disgusting which has been hard since that comprised over half my diet before. Even most healthy foods I had to literally get out of the house - and I'm talking about things I used to LOVE. Its been so crazy and different. But who doesn't want an excuse to eat a Pumpkin Pie blizzard by your fire pit with your hubby because "baby" wanted it? ;) 

And this pickle and ranch combo that was a hit at first is now a NEVER AGAIN thing. 

I sent this picture to Matt one morning that I spent in our bathroom. For a few weeks I was very nauseous and tired and even threw up. This was super rough just with having to be out of the house every day multiple times. Thankfully I am feeling very well now at 9.5 weeks! 

 Oh coffee how I miss you... maybe I will love you again soon. Don't forget about me. 

We got to see our baby at 6.5 weeks which was just SO amazing and wonderful. I was so worried when they did the initial ultrasound because I didn't know what they were looking for and they weren't talking much and i couldn't see anything that looked like a baby. They took all the measurements for the ovaries first so it was good those were empty! :) But at one point the tech asked, "Are you experiencing pain on your left side?" and I said yes which made me a little nervous, but apparently I just had a small cyst on my left ovary which can be common. We eventually did see our baby and my eyes immediately filled with tears and I covered my face to stop crying when I heard the heartbeat. SO amazing after longing to hear that 3 times before and never having the opportunity. We go again on November 30 at 11.5 weeks for another ultrasound. We can not wait! :) And I can't wait to meet this baby, Lord willing, on June 16, 2016! 

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! 

Brownies and Donuts

My 2 musicians. I wouldn't be surprised if Blake ended up being a musician when he grew up. He LOVES to play the air drums, guitar, trumpet, violin.... you name it. He loves to sing all of the time too. It's sweet. 

Our Santa beard! 

Donut Run with two cuties! 

Kade got to make brownies with us for the first time. It was quite the experience and was a lot more messy than usual! :) 

Of course he loved the best part: licking the brownie batter! 

Blake found a strainer in the cabinet and told me he was catching bugs with his net. My kitchen supplies are used for many things these days...

Love these two boys oh so much! They are constantly at each other's side. When Kade naps, Blake just doesn't seem to be himself. He asks if he can go wake Kade up. I love it so much. 

Praise upon Praise

I feel my son has turned ANOTHER corner.... his learning is just growing by the day.

Blake is...

-talking to us about things that he has just done without our asking.

-talking with Kade as they interact together. Kade is finally getting to the age where they choose to be with each other when possible.

-using his imagination to make things other objects and see different things in other objects. 

-continually tying his experiences back to something he knows or a prior experience. "It's like..." and "Remember when..." are common phrases we hear all the time now!

-beginning to make inferences on why things are happening. He is not always correct, but this is new and a positive.

-wanting to make sure we are listening. "Stop that and hear me." 

-has mastered climbing in and out of Kade's crib on his own! Ha! 

-wanting to help with many more things on his own initiative. "Can I help you?!" Love those words!

-playing with Kade and taking turns instead of trying to take everything on his.

-playing with more imagination! He still imagines the same things, but he has a desire for make believe. As I write this he was grocery shopping and asked me for a bag for his carrots and his peas. 

-riding his bike around the house like a mad man! His coordination is fantastic.

-asking more and more questions.

-loving preschool from what we can tell, and from the glimpses I can see from the window and the report from the teacher.

My counselor teaches childhood psychology to Master students. I have found her very helpful. She has a lot of information and I believe God brought her into my life for a reason. Blake follows a borderline for a high-functioning autism diagnosis (at least in my eyes... maybe that is why I am in counseling? ha). Although not one therapist believes he truly has it, my counselor has been helping me see what is typical 3 year old behavior. She also said the type of interaction he already shows and expresses with others keeps him off the spectrum and that he couldn't be placed on it because of that. For a kid who has never struggled with eye contact one day in his life or being with others, that was encouraging to hear and something I know to be true of him. They say his lack of talking keeps him from socially interacting in a way that kids his age have the capability of doing.

" I have had more of a peace about his overall diagnosis which is pretty much one of they have no clue. But his official one of "Communication Disorder" and "Developmental Delay" seems to be more and more true as the last 6 months have played out. And the projected time frame of 5.5 years old for being fully caught up (2 years from now) seems almost reachable for the first time. Of course, that being said, only through the grace and work of Christ in Blake's life. Blake's successes are owed to God answering lots of prayers and displaying His power in Blake. 

Along with 4 days of speech therapy, 1 day of music therapy,  and 2 days of preschool, we also give Blake a highly antioxidant supplement, a high-quality probiotic, and use an essential oil blend every day. There have been lots of theories out there that connect the gut and the brain. I feel I have seen such a huge impact since introducing a probiotic, but i don't believe we will ever be able to pinpoint the exact thing helping those leaps other than GOD'S hand. We also have taken him gluten free for 90% of his diet. We don't control what is outside the house for now, but everything in our house is gluten free for him as well as for Matt. 

Thank you for your prayers friends. It has been a journey and a struggle at that. God is continually revealing my lack of trust, my fear, and my lack of patience on a daily basis. I pray God will use all these trials to help conform me more into Christ's image and to be an encouragement to others around me. I pray so deeply that we will get past this and I can use my experiences to encourage other moms going through this in the future. I try not to make it this "Well God, you heal my son and I will be used by you in the future" thing. Regardless of the outcome, I pray God uses me for His glory. 

Friends, what would we do without Christ? He is my hope. He is my Rock. His Word brings comfort.

"But Moses said to the LORD, ‘O my LORD, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.’ Then the LORD said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?’” - Exodus 4:10-11

I pray God uses Blake in such a huge way like He used Moses. God doesn't choose just those who are eloquent in speech. God made the mouth and He can make man use it. GOD PLEASE DO THAT IN BLAKE! 

Family Pics 2015

We were able to take some family pictures again this summer while in MN - thanks to my sister-in-law Erica! Blake did fantastic and was SUPER cooperative which was a blessing. Kade, on the other hand, wasn't so excited to sit still for some good pictures. Hence the very few pics we have of him truly smiling. Candy did help bring out the smiles! 

God has given me the perfect husband and the perfect kids for me. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world! 

Forest Lakes 2015

Our weekend trip to Forest Lakes this summer was an absolute blast. The second we got to the cabin, Blake was attached to his Opa! They immediately went to the garden where Opa showed him some different vegetables! (Opa pretended to pick this watermelon but he had actually bought it from the local store and put it under the bush for Blake to see! Ha!)

We took many golf cart rides around the block. Here Kade and I are cuddling in the back on our way to pick some eggs from someone who has chickens. Blake broke a couple as he threw them into the basket. He always cracks his hard boiled eggs at home, so he didn't realize he needed to be careful. I should have warned him! 

Blake shocked me with how well he played with these little people-animals and tree house. I have never seen his imagination so great. Its coming! 

Leave it to Kade to find the little blue rocks! Both boys enjoyed finding and playing with there. Blake even had 5 of them in his bed at night one evening. 

We went mushroom hunting in the forest during Kade's nap one afternoon. Blake kept looking for sticks and was excited to show us the ones he would find which were ALL OVER! It was cute though! 

Blake and I shared a bed - for the first time! I never knew he was such a wiggle worm and even talked in his sleep. So crazy for a kid who is in speech therapy. Love this little guy. In this picture, he looked at me, turned around and snuggled closer. 

On the way home, we stopped by the Forest Lakes Fire Department and the boys got to see the fire trucks and ambulances. Blake loves these right now. We look for them as we drive all of the time. He was so intent on me when I was explaining what everything did. Wish we could have heard what he thought of it all, but we are learning that those thoughts may be a while in coming. We are learning to appreciate what he does share, even how small it may seem to most people. 

We loved our cabin trip and our Omi and Opa! Kade got to know them even better and we had such a memorable weekend! :) We love you, Omi and Opa! Thanks for being the best great-grandparents to my boys! They love you!