Evidences of God's Grace

I want to show some evidences of God's faithfulness and goodness to us as we begin Speech Therapy and intentional language learning activities. I am very blessed to be able to stay home with Blake and to help model social language and do declarative talk throughout the day. Every day we are currently working on answering questions, using correct responses, modeling social language through play, trying to redirect those common phrases he often repeats (echolalia) with more meaningful language, and just talking, talking, talking... about anything and everything.

Some of my examples I will post may seem small and something that most people would overlook in their own child. But for our family, and for our Blake, they are PROGRESS. They are evidences of God's power and grace in his life as he begins to use language or do a social behavior we have not seen often or perhaps ever before.

This week Blake willingly shared an ice cream cone toy with Kade. We work on sharing every. single. day. and what it means to invite others to play with you through sharing. As I was sitting on my computer, I overheard Blake go over to Kade and say, "Here Kade. You can have an ice cream cone." Or something along those lines. This was such a sweet moment for me to witness and I'm so thankful I was able to hear it. Drawing others in socially can be hard, and I was so happy to see this.

On a side note, let me explain this a little bit more about Blake and his social language problem. Blake is SO social and wants to be with people all day long. He ADORES his brother and constantly wants me to play with him. From the outside, you wouldn't tell anything is really "off" until you have been around him and see his use of language in social settings. Since working with language with him, he has made HUGE improvements in some areas. For example, he tries to enter conversations now through asking questions or stating what you are doing. "Oh mom, are you washing dishes?" or "Kade is running!" These were all things he hadn't done four weeks ago.

Much stems from the problem that he can't say anything "new." He can't figure out how to creatively use language. Which correlates with his play and his lack of imagination and input in speech. For example, he saw he had eggs for breakfast and said, "Mom, I'm scared of the word eggs." Meaning, he didn't like them or want to eat them. He will say things are "scary" or "hard" if he can't get to a new word used to describe what he really wants to say - even if he knows that word. If it wasn't used in that particular context, he can't use it.

When playing, he will not really play with his toys. He more looks at them and will see what they do, but he can't imagine a scene or make a new comment to go along with them. He doesn't say, "Look at my tower!" or "Wow! This is so big!" That is too "off-script." I have over heard him pick up toys and tell me about them, i.e. their characteristics... pink shirt, girl, etc.

If I am doing some pretend play and ask him where he wants his car to go... he doesn't know. He will just repeat some place I had taken our cars in the past. Nothing new. It's not like he can't answer those questions or give an opinion... his opinion is just always one of someone else. His way of playing is always one that I had shown before. The same giraffe will go down the same slide. The same stacking cups are a birthday cake. I hope this makes more sense. It's not that he can not communicate or understand at all. He just does not use social and pragmatic language. So he will repeat what he knows or songs and phrases he has heard... in the most random spots.

Back to another victory. While going to Blake's room to help turn on a light and open his blinds (he is currently afraid of the dark), he stopped half way, looked back at Kade, and said, "Oh Kade, do you want to go?" This melted my heart. He invited Kade socially into what we were doing without any of my prompting.

We have also seen small success in play. We did a sticker activity and he finally was able to tell me what he wanted his little dogs to do after a half hour of me modeling new ideas. He kept wanting his puppy to run... for the first 4 turns. Because that is exactly what I had my puppy do the first time. He eventually began to tell me he wanted his puppy to eat watermelon (there was a watermelon on my counter), play basketball (he could see the hoop outside), read a book (he could see it on the shelf), and a few others. Notice how his creativity and imagination were directly tied to what he could physically see right in front of him as he scanned the room. This was progress though as he was able to find a new idea, even if it wasn't entirely new and creative.

He has also began putting his Little Peoples in the bus and moving the bus. Something my 16 month old can do with no prompting. But something Blake has never done. His play is structured and revolves around books, puzzles, shapes, and letters... things that are structured and have a definite way to be played with. Two nights ago, though, Blake put his people in the bus and told me they had to go to school. Another small thing to most people that could be so easily overlooked... but to me a new idea.

As we have intentionally played with him and limited greatly his ABCs, we see him in this zone of not knowing exactly what to do. When we do allow him to play with his ABCs, he doesn't for any length of time anymore. In fact, we have gone days between him even asking to play with any of that. His asking to spell everything all. day. long. has also stopped greatly as my response has been: "Spelling is for when you have your magnet doodle or letters." and will then direct him to use an appropriate response to whatever he is playing, like, "But look at that car! I bet it goes fast!" .. instead of spelling car for him (which he is very capable of doing himself).

So for those of you who are following us and praying for us, I would ask that you pray for Blake in these areas of language most. The speech therapists think that he will be able to play more creatively and stop using such scripted language and theme songs one his language develops more. Please pray for speech therapy... I was a little discouraged last week when they told me they would be primarily playing with him and modeling language... something I am fully capable of doing and am doing daily. Since language is his BIGGEST issue and the one that stems into his other areas of concern, we are really wanting therapy to be worthwhile and something we believe will help open that part of his brain.

Thanks for all of your love and support friends. It means a lot to have people by our side who are gracious and patient with Blake.  And those who are understanding when he responds with a loud NO! to comments like.. "I like your sugar packets.." (sorry to the nice lady at Starbucks who was attempting to engage my son in conversation). We don't always understand what he is hearing when we say things that would give those types of responses. But we are also trying to be understanding as he may not have the words to say or the answers he wants to communicate and therefore screams his No!